How to Love an Isle Boy
by Sick Twisted Mind
Summary: An Auradon girl who thinks she understands the Isle and an Isle boy who pretends he's from Auradon. They try to make it work. (Janelos) (Warning: Life on the Isle is no good. Deals with serious content and mental trauma.)


It's sad that it took a dragon and nearly the destruction of Auradon to bring them closer, but Jane is grateful for it nonetheless. They have open talks and better communication, more love and trust between them. A real relationship. It's fantastic.

Except for the tight smile her mother is giving her now.

"A date? With…Carlos de Vil?"

Jane nods her head. "Yeah. I mean, if you'll let me." She's 15 and feels like she can date who she wants, but their good relationship is still too new to push. Jane won't jeopardize the still tentative balance they have found, not even for a boy she has been crushing on for months.

Her mother's jaw twitches. "Of course. Carlos is a wonderful young man. Are you…" She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "What will you be doing?"

Carlos really hadn't said; he had been so nervous and shaky talking to her, that Jane wonders if he planned anything out or if he was just so sure she would reject him. When she had said yes, he looked as if the wind would knock him over. It was kind of cute that he had been so flustered just to ask her. No one had ever been flustered to ask Jane out. No one had ever asked her out at all.

"How about you two do dinner and a movie? I can even make you a picnic basket," her mother grabs her hands and Jane smiles. It's a sweet offer, but Jane would rather eat at some cheap fast food place than her mom pack a picnic for her and Carlos. Your mother make food for your date is almost guaranteeing no second date.

"Maybe I'll make it for us," her mother's face falls, "and you can help!"

Fairy Godmother smiles brightly. "I'd love that so much, dear."

Her grip on Jane's hands doesn't relax until Jane pulls away.

* * *

Their picnic goes well and the movie is a romantic comedy. Jane suggested an action film but Carlos had made a weird face at the poster, a crinkle between his eyes and tilt to his lips before he so sweetly asked if they could maybe please see something different if it's okay with you, Jane? She was so caught up in being on an actual date that she hadn't really cared either way, but she was trying to be considerate of Carlos. Boys usually like action movies with fights and chases, right? Not sappy love stories with ridiculous pickup lines.

But Carlos had enjoyed the movie and so had she. Half way through, he extended his hand to lay it just beside hers. A full minute passed before he extended his pinkie and curled their little fingers together as he peeked over at her. A slight, meek action that made Jane reach for his whole hand and rest her own in it. She risked a glance at Carlos to see him looking at their entwined hands as if they were some terrible math problem to solve and she had grinned at his curiosity.

Now, they stand at the door to Jane's room. It's Friday and still rather early and it makes her…well, suspicious of why Carlos walked her to her room instead of just to her dorm building. Lonnie, just as excited as Jane, had helped her prepare for the date. In between 15 different outfits and 20 shoes and a dozen hairstyles, Lonnie cautiously mentioned what can sometimes happen after first dates and that Jane should never do something she was uncomfortable with.

Jane is smart and she knew that already, she heard Audrey and Ally talk about boys inviting themselves into their rooms after dates, pushing for something that a first date didn't warrant. And those were Auradon boys. The sons raised by princes and princesses, by heroes and saviors. They were good boys who pressured for something more.

Carlos isn't a bad boy, he's good now. He switched sides. Some days, Jane wonders if he was ever bad. But he was still raised by villains on the Isle, where sex and the likes were much more…common.

Jay is so open with it and Mal outright refers to it as 'fucking' in front of teachers. As much as Jane hates it and as sweet and gentle as Carlos has been on the date, she's worrisome of what he wants from her. He was raised in all kinds of promiscuity and he is a teenage boy.

Jane holds her head high. If Carlos thinks he's getting anything like that from her, he is sorely mistaken.

Maybe she's just paranoid after having such a good time - there has to be some down point, right? – because Carlos stands away from her. They hadn't even held hands on the way back. He just smiles at her, like Jane is some precious gift before him and her face heats up at the dopey look.

"Thanks for taking me out. I had a lot of fun," she says and that's true. As far as first dates go, Jane thinks it went pretty well. Not that she has anything to compare it to, but she laughed and enjoyed herself and held a boy's hand for the first time.

He exhales slowly, shoulders relaxing. "Really? I did too." He grins widely and bounces on his feet a bit. "I'd… I'd like to do this again, if that's okay with you?"

Her grin matches his. "Yes! I mean…yeah. Definitely."

"Cool." He answers breathlessly.

They stand there for another minute, grinning in silence exactly like what they are: two idiot teenagers after their first date.

"Well, I…um, have some homework to get to. I'll see you in class this week and we'll plan something out?"

Carlos nods, still grinning, but he bites his lip for a moment. "Yeah, okay. Uh, can I, um, I-I.-"

Oh no. Jane steels herself. Here it comes.

Can I kiss you?

Mind if I come in for a bit?

Do you want to come back to my room?

That's okay, she thinks, there will be more dates and no one has a perfect first date. She likes Carlos, really likes him to be honest, but she's setting her foot down and not budging. Jane shouldn't be mad at him, he wasn't raised properly in Auradon, but Carlos needs to know that the first date does not entitle the boy to something more. It is not polite to invite yourself into someone's room and try to get in their pants and she's not some girl he can hook up with after one picnic and movie. She had such high hopes for this date and for Carlos and her lips are about to tremble because she was so excited for this night and it's going to end badly and -.

"Can I hug you? If you're okay with that?" Carlos is clutching his hands tightly in front of him, looking down at the ground and scuffing his foot against the carpet like he's too embarrassed to meet her gaze.

"Oh." Jane blinks back the tears forming in her traitorous eyes. "Um. Yeah. Yeah, we can hug."

He gives her another beautiful grin before very lightly and oh so softly wrapping his arms around her. His hands end at her ribs, far enough below her breasts and far enough above her hips to be appropriate. Jane gingerly returns the actions, wrapping her arms over his shoulders and takes a moment to acknowledge how close they are in height.

Carlos pulls back first, ridiculously happy and pink in his cheeks. If she hadn't just spent the entire evening with him, Jane would think he was high with how pleased he looked. "Thanks. Um…have a good night, Jane."

* * *

Date two comes. Then date three. And four and five. Jane is 15 and in love and amazed with everything about Carlos. He is wicked smart, scary even. He does math problems in seconds, finish chemistry tests in minutes, builds electronics in hours. He is dedicated to bathing Dude at least once a week and, after helping with the last two baths, Jane can say it's adorable to watch Carlos chase the dog down and towel him off.

She proudly holds his hand in the halls and tells people that they're dating.

When he had first come to Auradon, Jane had been terrified of him. The Isle was just a place of horror stories – villains and criminals, kid nappers and witches with horns – and to have kids from there come to live with them nearly made her shake. Now when she looks at Carlos with bubbles in his hair and drenched from Dude shaking off water in his arms, the memory of her fear makes her laugh.

The truth is, very little is known about the Isle. It's hardly taught in school and never mentioned on the news. It's a secret everyone knows about but pretends they don't. Jane never had a reason to care about the Isle until she met the children from there.

Carlos drops little hints about it sometimes without meaning to. He only had a mattress, not a bed frame in his room. His old textbooks were damaged and water-logged, missing pages and covers and entire chapters. Teachers at the one and only Isle school taught classes like Evil Schemes and Selfishness 101.

Jane makes a face at those stories. She can't imagine using someone else's tossed away notebook or having students throw her in a locker. Stories of stale sandwiches and snatching food from your classmates make her stomach hurt.

When she looks at him, Jane doesn't see an Isle boy anymore. Maybe he's still a little too excited for new school supplies and fresh fruit, but she sees an Auradon boy, proper and sweet. Carlos doesn't curse, he doesn't start fights or fires (outside of the chemistry lab) and he loves to do homework for actual classes.

The change is happening in all of the Isle kids, albeit more slowly. Jay is happiest with his tourney team even if he's still rough on the field and Mal makes an actual effort to compliment others (though it's obvious the kind words don't taste too well). Evie compares herself to other girls a little bit less and she lets her natural beauty show more often instead of hiding it under a layer of makeup. They're not all the way there, with potty mouths and rebellious streaks, but they're learning and Jane feels a giddy sense of pride for…well, the new kids she considers to be her friends.

But with Carlos, it's like he was born in Auradon. He's never talks back or argues, he's overly considerate of others, doesn't draw attention to himself and obeys authority without hesitation.

The next time her mother asks about him with a worried look, Jane can't hide her snicker. Carlos is an Auradon boy, not an Islander.

* * *

Audrey had a made a fleeting comment about her first make-out session – it had been with Aziz back when he had braces and she had sliced her tongue on a wire – that started a chain of horror story kisses.

Jane listened quietly and laughed terribly at Lonnie's story about sneezing in a boy's face when his facial hair tickled her nose, but she doesn't add anything. She has nothing to say. Carlos is her first boyfriend, first hand holding session and first guy to buy her flowers.

But he isn't her first kiss.

At least, not yet.

They've been hanging out every week and holding hands and hugging but…they haven't kissed. Not that kissing is needed in a relationship and Jane was relieved at how slow things were going until their fourth date, when Carlos, stuttering and fumbling and completely pink, had asked if he could kiss her.

And Jane had no problem with that. They had been on several dates and Carlos was far from ugly with his dark eyes and peculiar hair. She had been wondering when the time would come and she grinned at the fact that Carlos asked permission to kiss her rather than just going for it. Just as nervous and jumpy as Carlos, Jane nodded.

She puckered her lips, but kept them tight (because one kiss did not lead to a make out session, even for someone as cute as Carlos) and closed her eyes, leaning forward. It was hard to keep her breathing steady with her nerves, but Carlos never touched her lips. Instead, her hand was lifted and a faint – so faint she wouldn't have been able to tell what had happened if she didn't open her eyes – pressure of lips against her knuckles was the first kiss a boy had given her.

When Carlos lowered her hand, Jane just stared. He raised his head, face still pink and pupils dilated and a dopey grin on his face like the first time that they had hugged (and every time after that).

"Wow," he exhaled and looked as if he was seeing stars. "Thanks."

Still, Jane couldn't find words and Carlos looked far too happy to speak. They stood in silence, one that Jane found a little awkward but Carlos didn't seem to even notice. After a minute, he shook himself out of his stupor, taking a step back as Jane opened her own door and waving goodbye to her.

It's adorable and considerate how slow Carlos goes but it's frustrating, goodness damnit! Jane doesn't want to have sex with him or let him into her bedroom, but after nearly two months, she had expected something a little more than hugs and hand kisses. They're 15 and dating and Carlos is so darn attractive some days that Jane turns red just looking at him.

Today happens to be one of those days: she had picked him up for their study date because his room was on the way to library. Just standing outside of his door had a tingle under her skin and Jane wondered if that's what all girls feel when they like a boy. Carlos answered, pencil behind his ear, cheeks flushed and a mountain of books in his arms (he still offered to carry her books as well); it was his intelligence as well as his looks and kindred spirit that Jane is attracted to.

Even now, his are lips pursed in concentration, elegant fingers working diligently at mechanical pieces at a library table on a Friday evening. The school is nearly empty with teenagers partying and dancing and Carlos is in the library with textbooks and wires and scraps of metal. He's a nerd and it's adorable and endearing and it the sight just makes Jane want to-.

He's so focused that Jane has her arm around him before he even realizes she's moving. When Carlos turns to her, Jane's lips are on his, fully and tightly. She still keeps her mouth locked shut – she can't make out in a library – but it's the most daring thing she's ever done and the furthest she's ever gone with a boy.

Mal would probably just laugh at her, but Jane is an Auradon girl and this is a big moment for her.

She pulls back after several seconds, expecting Carlos to be totally pink and ridiculously happy, just like he is after every hug and kiss to her hand, but he's not. Carlos is as pale as his white tipped hair, gripping half of a broken pencil while the other half still rolls at their feet. He's looking at Jane, not as if she's a precious gift, but as she has done something horribly unforgivable and she feels like she might have.

"I-I-I…gotta g-go." The boy leaps from his chair, leaving his supplies and backpack behind, and Jane watches from her seat as he runs out of the library.

* * *

"Wait, you didn't just kiss him out of nowhere, right? You guys had talked about this before?"

Jane shakes her head. "No, but we've been dating for so long. I didn't think we needed to talk about it." Spontaneity is romantic, right? "It was a short kiss and both of our mouths were closed."

The mattress shifts when Evie sits down beside her. Jane takes a moment to really look around the room, she had barged in panicking as soon as the girls' door opened hadn't even considered that they might have plans on a Friday night, but, thankfully, neither did. Mal's bed on the other side is a mess, blankets tossed to the side and clothing thrown haphazardly onto it. She turns to Evie, taking in the flushed cheeks and wild blue hair and – the inside out shirt? Evie has never looked anything less than prim and proper and Jane has a sneaking suspicion of what has caused the change right now. "He just ran away," Evie repeats and shares a look with Mal.

"He's probably in his room, I'll send Jay," it takes her a moment to find her phone in a pair of pants on the floor (crumpled, like they had been taken off in a hurry, Jane notes), but once it's in her hands, Mal's fingers slowly and carefully move over the screen. She is almost 17 and never had a phone until just last month. With how well they have all been behaving recently, it's like they're all Auradon kids. Jane can almost forget where they're really from and who their parents are. Her chest tightens as she watches Mal take the time to search out every letter with a scowl, poking at the screen before just calling her friend.

"Shouldn't I go talk to him?" Jane stands and Evie grabs her hand tightly with a shake of her head.

Jay is a fantastic person in Jane's eyes; he is strong and charming and kind, he always genuinely thanks her for her time as the mascot. He can be a bit rough around the edges, sporting the occasional black eye, but he's smiling and friendly beneath it all.

Jane likes him very much, and as Carlos' best friend, she should like him more, but the bond between the boys makes her…insecure at times. The amount of time Jay spends with Carlos and how Carlos talks about Jay as if he hung the moon outside his window makes her envious of their relationship. She can see the love and adoration between them and if Carlos weren't so sweet on her and if Jay weren't hitting on everything with legs, she may even be worried about them fooling around behind her back. Jane has to remind herself that they grew up together, left home and fought a dragon together; they have a bond that is formed in years and near-death experiences.

But sending Jay to talk to Carlos about their relationship makes Jane antsy. She ought to be the one talking to Carlos and working through it. Not Jay.

"No. He won't wa-…" Evie purses her lips. "Just let Jay talk to him for a little bit, okay?"

"What's going on?"

The girls share another look and Jane scowls at how they seem to have an entire conversation without words. She feels left out and she's standing right between them. Another example of the unbelievable bond that she must remind herself to not be jealous of.

"You're Carlos' first girlfriend," Evie squeezes her hand and smiles brightly. Jane relaxes a tad; Evie always makes her feel special and important, just with a look, "and he likes you so much. Just…let Carlos take things at his pace, okay?"

Jane sits back down and pulls her hand away. "But why is it so slow? And why did he react that way?"

The blue-haired princess looks to the side, clearly uncomfortable.

"Carlos will tell you what he wants in his own time." Mal answers. Jane just looks at her curiously and Mal sighs. "Things were different on the Isle, like gang activity more than dating," Evie makes an odd noise at the phrase, "It…wasn't always the best experience. This whole thing is new to Carlos."

Her words sound as if there is a terrible secret beneath them, but Jane isn't able to decode it. She's curious and worried in equal parts, just like so many other things about her new friends.

She's slowly leaning more about the Isle, just like everyone else. Having children from there walk around their hallways and join their classes forced everyone to look at the Isle for what it is: storage space for the people no one wanted to deal with.

It hurts to think of it that way, to know that the Isle is the fault of her country and king. With Carlos by her side, Jane has been thinking about it more and more. But, even dating a boy from there, she had never considered what romantic relationships would be like on the Isle. Probably not full of flowers and smiles. It makes it a little easier to understand what's going on.

Well, not really. But it makes it easier to accept that she doesn't understand what's going on.

It's another one of the differences she sees, how the four of them always seem so much older and enlightened. Granted, Jane is two years below them (except for Carlos, who did the math and found that Jane is his elder by 63 days), but the four of them seem wise and aged more than any adult in Auradon some days.

"Just let Carlos come to you on his own, okay?" Evie pats her hand and Jane feels like a child with all of the secrets they're hiding. They're all teenagers, Jane should be able to know the same secrets and handle the same problems as Evie or Mal or the boys. She can handle it, Jane knows she can.

But she nods anyway.

* * *

Carlos comes around the next day, apologizes and evades every question with ease. It's strange for him to be so apologetic when yesterday he had looked as if Jane had just kicked Dude or destroyed his invention. He clearly feels terrible for running off even when he had been terrified. Jane just grabs his hand and Carlos tenses, as if fighting back the desire to flinch away from her. She pauses, tells herself she's overreacting, and heads Mal and Evie's advice. She smiles like her heart isn't pounding and her head isn't spinning with questions and says they will go at whatever pace he wants (no matter how agonizingly slow).

They eat lunch together and Carlos insists on carrying her tray and bag and then nearly spills it all when he tries to pull out her chair too.

Jane giggles at his exaggerated chivalry and helps him with everything in his hands. She takes a bite out of an apple to extinguish the desire to kiss him again.

Her mother asks how things are going later a few days later; Jane wonders if she knows anything about the kiss in the library. But no one had seen and Carlos hasn't spoken to Fairy Godmother since his class last week. Jane is mortified by the idea of Carlos telling her mother.

She decides not to bring it up. "It's good. We're going to the park tomorrow."

"He's treating you well?"

Jane remembers the utter horror and panic on Carlos' face and shame rises in her. Her mother would be worried for Carlos instead of Jane if she had seen his reaction. "Yes, mom. He always does."

"You two are…taking things slow?"

Painfully so. "Yes, mom," her tone is a warning to drop the subject. Jane wonders if her mother has said anything to Carlos in Remedial Goodness about dating her daughter. Oh, Snow White, she certainly hopes not.

"He's not pushing you into anything?"

"No, mom."

"I know," her mother wipes off imaginary dust from her dress, "that this is an uncomfortable topic." No kidding. "But… Carlos was raised in a different environment dear, make sure you set boundaries with him and don't let him pressure you."

Please let the kitchen ground open up and swallow her whole.

"Mom, we've only kissed once." And it's almost embarrassing to admit such a low number after so many dates, even to her mother. But Carlos is worth more than any amount of physical affection. "So just…drop this. Please?"

"I'm just making sure, dear. I only want you to be safe."

"I…I know. Thank you."

* * *

Another month passes and Carlos has moved from kissing her knuckles to kissing her cheeks to very rare and special half-second kisses on the lips when absolutely no one is around. It's still a snail's pace but Carlos is happy and giddy after any of them with pink cheeks and big puppy eyes.

He has visited her house a few times, to pick her up or the occasional dinner, and courteously chats with her mother, small talk about school and tourney and new projects.

Jane knows very little about Cruella to be dating her son. The woman tried to kill more than 100 dogs, she's one of the most violent and selfish villains that Auradon remembers. She wanted to steal from her friends and workers, to skin living creatures and use their bodies to decorate herself. Cruella is dangerous and angry and terrifying.

And her son sits across from Jane at the lunch table every day.

Not that Carlos is anything like his mother. He cares for Dude more than anyone else, he willingly gives up his lunch tray when Jane or his friends forget theirs, he smiles and compliments people.

Carlos makes Jane wonder if there is another side to Cruella, a soft and loving side. He had to have seen kindness somewhere, right? An example of tenderness and care. Cruella is a mother after all and every mother loves her child.

But she had been diagnosed with several mental illnesses before the Isle was created. Cruella de Vil is, by definition, psychotic. And Carlos has lived with her almost his entire life. From the day he was born.

When Carlos holds her hand, Jane can feel the small scars along his fingers and palms. She catches circular burns on his arms and collar bone. She never misses the way he jumps and flinches when people shout.

Maybe it's the obvious answer, but it doesn't make sense for the scars to come from Cruella. They must have come from someone else on the Isle, a bully or heartless criminal. They had to. Crazy or sane, villainous or heroic, no man or woman would hurt their own child. No mother would hurt the baby they brought into the world. They just wouldn't. Cruella couldn't.

"Carlos," she starts slowly. Neither of them were big fans of pet names, "do you…have any contact with your mother, now that you're here?"

Pretty brown eyes – prettier than her own, Jane can admit – look up at her. "Not really. I haven't spoken to her since… I guess parent's day. Through a camera."

"Oh. Do you, I don't know, miss her at all?"

He makes a face. "No." He doesn't continue even after a minute of silence.

"What was she like?" She feels like she's over-stepping, but shouldn't she know these things? Carlos is her, well, boyfriend now. Jane ought to know about his family and childhood, right?

Another weird face. "She was – or, is, I guess – umm… We didn't have a very good relationship."

It's not an admission, but Jane has a nauseous suspicion that maybe Carlos' scars did come from his own flesh and blood.

Last year, if someone had asked Jane about her mother, she would have given a similar answer, but much more dramatic and frustrated. Her mother loves her and cares for her, even if they didn't always see eye to eye. There are so many things about Carlos that make her feel privileged and guilty.

"Can we talk about something else, if it's okay with you?"

"Of course," Jane smiles at him. Let Carlos take things at his own pace. He was worth every wait so far. "You didn't have a girlfriend back on the Isle, right?" And she knows the answer from Mal and Evie and all of Carlos' surprising reactions to her, but it leads to her next question.

"Yeah. And you're super great. Fantastic. Best girlfriend I've ever had."

Jane laughs and so does he. She's torn between seeing his banter and good mood as signs to continue or something that she will ruin if she keeps it up.

"What was dating like, back on the Isle?"

Carlos clutches his plasticware tightly, working his jaw back and forth while staring at the table. "It wasn't really done." Crap.

If the mood is already ruined, so be it. There's more to his answer than that. There has to be. "Was I your first kiss? That day in the library?" If he weren't staring at the table, Jane would avoid his eyes at the memory.

"No, but…it's hard to explain."

Her heart sinks. Carlos was her first kiss. Even if it was awkward and he ran, it was special because it was her first. Jane had just assumed she was Carlos' first too.

"Can I know, please?"

Carlos swallows and his breathing becomes labored. He looks pale and sweaty and Jane really thinks about that first kiss and how Carlos looked just like this before he bolted.

"Or not. We don't have to talk about this."

"I-I… No thank you. If-if that's okay with you. Something else, p-please."

Jane pinches her palm to keep her own breathing steady and forces a smile.

"Of course. Whatever you want."

* * *

Her sixteenth birthday is exciting for so many things. Jane can get her license now, she has more freedom and independence, it's an excuse to throw a crazy party. Her friends throw her a small celebration after classes one Friday in the common room of her dorm. There are snack and decorations and a home-made cake from Mal (she shoves Ben when he asks what kind of spell her baking has in it this time).

Jane giggles as she falls beside Carlos on a couch, sitting beside Mal. "You guys don't wanna dance?"

"I think you're dancing enough for the both of us," Carlos grins at her.

"She's not the only one," Mal shouts over the music and gestures to Evie and Jay in the middle of the room, arms around each other and hips moving. Jane can't tell if they're together now or if this is another one of their weird bond things because she had been pretty certain that Evie and Mal were…well, more than roommates now.

But she shrugs. Jane has learnt to not question the Isle kids.

Carlos nudges her. "Hey, can we, uh, talk outside for a second?"

Jane follows him out of the room and down the hall, the music still ringing in her ears. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to give you this," Carlos face turns an interesting shade of pink that makes Jane want to kiss him all over again. He pulls out a small box, wrapped in the comic section of the newspaper.

She peels it open carefully, looking up at him every couple of seconds with a grin. It's hard to hide her excitement and curiosity of what Carlos would get for her.

When the paper falls to the ground, Jane holds a light piece of metal in her hands. It's shiny and colorful and intricate with some kind of clip underneath it all.

"It's a hair barrette," Carlos explains with a blush that has spread to his ears. "Uh, I made it, but everyone helped." She knows exactly who he means by that. It's painful and sweet that he considers his three friends to be everyone. "Jay and I welded it together and Evie helped design it and Mal gave us the gems in it."

"It's beautiful," she says and it is. It's not what she expected but jewelry is a traditional feminine gift and he clearly worked hard at it.

He clears his throat. "I know you were, uh, upset that day Mal changed your hair back," and ever so slowly, he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear in a tender gesture. She has grown it out more, but it's still unlike the luscious curls Mal gave her. "I just wanted you to know that I think you're pretty no matter what your hair looks like." He pauses and meets her eyes. "You're beautiful."

The desire to kiss him until he's breathless is so strong that Jane has to cover her mouth with her hands. She feels silly for grinning in silence and partly understands what Carlos is like after she hugs him.

"Jane?"

She throws herself into him and wraps her arms around his waist, burying her head into his shoulder. Carlos tenses at the motion, she can feel his locked muscles and stiff breathing, but then he relaxes into her, curls his arms around her shoulders.

"I love it," she murmurs against his neck and she can feel the vibration of his laugh.

"I'm glad."

"I'll wear it every day."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to," she insists and smiles at him.

His cheeks are still pink and he has the same little grin on his face and she doesn't get out of this hallway right now, Jane will kiss the life out of Carlos De Vil.

"Let's go back to the party," Jane pulls him along. "I want to show this off." The barrette in her hair is all Jane will talk about for weeks. She will brag about it, her party and her boyfriend to everyone.

And when she says everyone, she means everyone.

Carlos follows her around for a little bit before reaching for her wrist again. "It's getting late," he hollers above the music. "I think I'll get going soon if that's okay?"

A clock on the wall tells her it's just past ten o'clock and Jane wants to plead with him to stay. But he's always been weird about his own curfew, the one he sets for himself, not the one enforced by the school. He doesn't like staying out late on their dates and turns in before anyone else.

If she asked, Carlos would probably make an exception for her birthday, but Jane can see the party isn't really his scene. He had been one of the first people here and likely was around even earlier to decorate. He smiled and ate and talked to people, but always wandered back to the couch or to the side of his friends.

She will survive the rest of her sixteenth party without him, a ton of kids are here and everyone wants to stop and talk with her. It's an amount of attention Jane is unused to, but definitely flourishes under. She nods and hugs Carlos again, inhaling the scent of his jacket and the familiar smell of copper and Dude and something just him.

A while later, Mal and Evie go to make their exit as well. They are both flushed and sweating, Jane guesses Mal finally let Evie drag her onto the dance floor, and they hold hands. It contradicts the dance between Evie and Jay earlier, but she doesn't ask.

"We're taking off," Evie breathes and pulls Jane in for a tight hug before resting her head on Mal's shoulder.

The shorter girl plays with Evie's hair slowly and Jane is surprised at the affection Mal is showing in front of so many people. She chalks the funny behavior up to the adrenaline of the dance and sadly wishes she saw this side of Mal more often. "Happy birthday, Jane."

"Thanks," she grins at them. The music is dying down to respect the students who are sleeping, so Jane doesn't have to shout her gratitude. "For coming and for the gift," she turns her head so both girls can see the barrette in her hair.

Evie giggles. "I'm glad you like it."

"Is Jay leaving with you guys?"

Mal shook her head. "No, Jay left a while ago. Right after Carlos."

Oh. He didn't say goodbye.

"He left in a hurry," Evie reassures when she sees the disappointment on Jane's face. "He had to go once he realized Carlos was gone."

"Why?" Granted, Auradon isn't big on parties, but it seems out of character for Jay to leave so early. Especially since he had been enjoying his dance with Evie.

Her question shakes the other girls out of the stupor. Mal and Evie look at each other, then away.

"I'm not sure," Evie says quickly. "I think he just wanted to make sure Carlos was okay."

A cold dread settles over Jane. "Why wouldn't he be? Is he not feeling well, is that why he left so early?"

"He's fine!" Evie insists, reaching for Jane. "Jay just…"

"Didn't want him to be alone." Mal finishes and Evie nods.

It's the same thing as the kiss situation, Jane remembers. A secret and cover-up that raise a thousand questions. Jane wants to argue that she's not a child, she's 16 now for Rapunzel's sake.

But they have a room full of people all here for her and music that is too quiet to drown them out.

Jane is an Auradon girl, she doesn't argue with guests at her own party. She doesn't accuse people of hiding things (even when it's obvious) and she doesn't raise her voice to company. She just smiles, pretends like she doesn't know about any secrets regarding these Isle kids (and isn't she just so patriotic, following in the steps of her country?) and thanks the girls for the gift again.

* * *

Mal and Evie were right: Carlos tells her bits and pieces as time goes on, as he grows more comfortable, but Jane knows it's not the full story. Cruella made him sleep in a closet behind her fur coats, he was in charge of feeding himself since he started school, Carlos cleaned the house daily while his mother never lifted a finger.

Cinderalla, Jane had thought privately. Her Carlos was just like Cinderella. And maybe his beginning wasn't the best, but sharing similar stories is not a bad thing. Cinderella is still living her Happy Ending.

Jane is the product of a Happily Ever After, just like all of her friends. Chad, Lonnie, Ally, Audrey, Ben – all Happy Products of Happy Endings. True love and magic and passion.

Carlos might be her Happy Ending. Jane fidgets with the barrette in her hair; she certainly doesn't mind if he is. His quirky smile and sparkling eyes could be the final sentence in her love story.

But if it's not Carlos, then it's not Carlos. Just because every princess was married before twenty doesn't mean Jane has to follow suit. Sometimes first relationships don't work out and there will be tears and heartache, but a Happily Ever After somewhere down the line. One for her and one for Carlos because they're in Auradon and every ending is a Happy one.

There is definitely one for Carlos, she thinks while running her hands through his hair as he sits in front of her, tinkering with her glitching phone. (It's one of the delightful secrets Jane has unlocked about her boyfriend: toying with his hair makes him practically putty in her hands. Not that she minds. Carlos' hair is fascinating and the completely relaxed posture and flushed face are definitely worth the effort.)

Carlos is a basic fairytale. He's a walking stereotype: raised in filth and neglect like Cinderella, whisked away to a new world where he found his place like Ariel, went on a grand adventure and the experience of a lifetime like Mulan and even overcame a dragon like Prince Phillip.

(The same dragon too, actually.)

It's more exciting to think of his Happily Ever After than her own. It's more exciting to think Jane is Carlos' Happy Ending.

* * *

It's incredibly scandalous to be hiding under the bleachers with a boy and Jane would absolutely die if anyone saw them right now. They're not doing anything bad; classes are out and it's not like they're making out or anything. But it's a very intimate moment that makes her head spin and heart pound.

Carlos is cradling her face, their foreheads pressed together. He's okay with kissing now, but it's infrequent between them still. Which is perfectly okay because Jane enjoys times like these much more. He holds her like a valuable jewel, staring at her face like trying to memorize every feature. It makes her terribly self-conscious and confident all at once.

He's quiet for the most part, occasionally mumbling about how beautiful she is and that Jane is the nicest person he's ever met. She moves slowly, as if any jerky movements would break this lovely spell between them. Her hands rest on his face and she takes a moment to recognize there is finally a height difference between them and she actually has to reach to cup his cheeks.

He softly laughs. "Can I kiss your nose?"

"You don't always have to ask if you can kiss me, you know."

He looks away but doesn't move back. "I just want to double check that it's okay."

She grins. "Yes, you can."

He pecks her nose and Jane feels so unbelievably happy and giddy with the tender affection from him. This is a perfect moment.

She moves her hands down and gasps when some of Carlos' skin comes off with her thumb. She's so close that she can immediately notice that it's not his skin, it's makeup. He had some sort of concealer under his eye that stuck to her finger.

"Why are you wearing makeup?"

Carlos moves back this time, looking toward the ground. "I-um-Evie wanted to-."

"Do you have a black eye?" Jane moves closer, reaching for his face again, still moving slowly. "What happened?" She doesn't even expect black eyes from Jay anymore, let alone her Carlos.

"No!" He quickly reassures her and looks back to her. She can see a faded gray under his eye, just a smudge from where the rest of the makeup still conceals his eye. "It's not a black eye."

She waits but he doesn't continue. "Well then, what is it?" Carlos doesn't back up, but she can sense that he wants to; he stays still as she moves closer, a pitiful resignation as she removes more makeup. He's not lying, there is no bruise, just dark circles under his eye. "What's going on?"

Carlos avoids her gaze and shrugs.

Oh no. It's frustrating enough for Mal and Evie to keep secrets, but her boyfriend cannot. Jane is a big girl, she can handle hard truths and sad stories. "Carlos, tell me what's going on." She's sure the other eye is hiding the same dark bags, but she doesn't reach up to test it. "Are you sick?"

He shakes his head. "No, I'm just…tired."

"Why? Aren't you getting enough sleep?" That couldn't possibly be true. Carlos always stuck to the bedtime he gave himself, an hour before the curfew of Auradon Prep. Once he was in for the night, he didn't come back out.

He shrugs again.

"Carlos, please tell me." Her voice is stronger than she expected. "I want to know so I can help." She can help, Jane knows she can. She just has to know what the problem is. Carlos doesn't have to go through his troubles by himself. She is ready to help him.

He swallows heavily and his eyes don't leave the ground. "I have bad dreams sometimes is all."

It had to be more often than sometimes to need makeup to conceal his exhaustion. "About what?"

"The Isle," he answers after a pause.

She had a sinking suspicion for a while that life on the island was much worse than she had wanted to think. Mal hoards food even months later and there's been gossip on the tourney team about some of the scars Jay has. She has to know what happened to Carlos.

"What…about it?"

His breathing picks up, becomes quick and labored. Jane can feel the tremors in him. "Carlos," she whispers, but her voice is strong. "It's okay. Talking through things like this helps. You don't have to keep this from me, I can handle it."

She is ready for this, to be here for him and hear his nightmare. Whether he has quiet anger or heavy sobs, Jane will stand by him and hold his hand through it all. She is ready and prepared and focused and –

Is his shaking getting worse?

Jane bites her tongue. She is ready to hear his story and listen to his bad dreams.

But that doesn't mean Carlos is ready to tell them.

"How about," her own voice is shaking too, "you can tell me about it when you want to?"

He takes a deep breath and nods eagerly, still silent.

Slow movements – because everything with Carlos is slow – and she wraps her arms around his waist, hugging him. He moves faster to return the gesture, hiding his face into her neck, like a child. The roles are reversed with Carlos, Jane is now the one shielding him, the protector, and he is the one who is unprepared for it all.

She gently twirls the hairs at the base of his neck and he relaxes into her. Jane can be patient. She can wait.

* * *

Evie stares at Jane with her mouth open. "He gave you his jacket?"

Jane grins, toys with the ends of black and white sleeves. "Yeah, he said he just wanted me to have something of his."

The other girls share a look, but instead of having a silent conversation, they let Jane in on their talk. "Things must be going really well then, hmm?" Mal asks with a wicked smile.

If Carlos were a little more open, Jane would say their relationship in prefect. "Yeah, but what's so special about the jacket?"

"Claiming behavior." Mal rises from her bed. "Giving you his jacket shows that you're his."

Maybe she should be offended by that, Mal's explanation makes her sound like property, but Jane's not insulted. She's red and giddy. "Every boy gives a girl his jacket, it's not that big of a deal." While she loves having Carlos' jacket (and is never taking it off. Ever), it's not ground breaking. "I think the barrette means more. He made it himself, specifically for me."

"It's a huge deal on the Isle to give someone your jacket. Or anything of yours, really," Evie reaches for Mal, entwines their hands. She fiddles with a silver chain around her neck, a small figurine of a dragon hanging off of it. Mal lifts the pendant and closes her hand around it, smiling at Evie, who smiles back. "It means that…there's not really an Auradon way to describe it."

Mal nods to the corner and Jane spies a familiar jacket on the back of a chair. "There's a reason we have Jay's tourney jacket rather than some random girl he's chasing after. It's a big thing."

She still hasn't asked what the deal between the girls and Jay is. The three of them are affectionate and open with each other in a way they aren't with anyone else, even Carlos. She wonders if he ever feels left out of the extra relationship between his three friends or if Carlos is content with just her.

Jane gets her answer when Evie pulls her into a tight hug.

"Carlos likes you so much," she murmurs against Jane's hair. Her voice is unsteady. "I'm so glad he found you. You're so good for him."

* * *

She sees parts of the Isle in him, if she's really looking for it. It's kind of scary. They've been dating a few months and Carlos is revealing a little more of his personality every day. She is loving every new and exhilarating fact that he shows her because it's Carlos and how could she not adore him? But she catches how he glares at people who accidentally bump into him in the hallways. He clenches his fist when opposing tourney players catcall the cheerleaders and jerks away from people who grab him.

They're all small, insignificant things but they all add up to a new side of him that she hadn't considered to exist: Isle Carlos. In fact, she's seeing it more in him than in any of his friends. Mal's quick sarcasm is ever present, but it's light and teasing instead of menacing and demeaning. Jay's hot aggression on the field is a desire to fiercely protect his team. Evie, who once made subtle comments comparing herself to others, even to Jane a few times when they braid each other's hair and do their nails together, has risen to genuine compliments. Snide, haughty remarks like "your hair is so much more tangled than mine ever is" are now "your hair is so lovely and healthy. You're so pretty, Jane."

He's still Carlos though. He isn't dangerous, but…there are days where he could be, if he was pushed enough, she's almost sure of it. Moments that he is an Isle boy instead of an Auradon boy when Jane has brief glimpses of a young child who was angry and bitter and wanted others to feel the same.

Then there are days where Jane sees a different Isle boy, one who was scared and alone. She sees that little boy when Carlos flinches away from people who are too loud, how he looks at the ground when someone is upset. He makes a point to never be out past nine, as if he is a child afraid of the dark, and always locks his door when he's in for the night.

Jane doesn't know which one is worse. Maybe neither is.

Those moments are so small and fleeting that Jane shouldn't worry about them. For the most part, they are all smiling and happy teens, truly dedicated to good and manners. She cares for Carlos and his friends.

Nearly every waking hour, he is Carlos. Her Carlos. Kind and smiling and soft, opening doors and carrying her bag and politely talking with adults. Most days, he acts like he has only ever lived in Auradon, with happy families and safe homes. He's still a little awkward and socially clueless, but it's cute and endearing in an odd way.

She just needs to stop looking too much into things.

* * *

Her mother asks about Carlos a little less frequently now. She has the same tight smile when he comes up though.

He's growing more comfortable with other students and invites Jane's friends to sit with them at lunch. He isn't attached to Jay anymore – or at least, not as much as he had been, once.

In fact, the four of them are all doing better, going above and beyond. Mal makes an effort to work with other artists in the school and critique them to their best. Jay helps other players up after he tackles them and Evie has started doing hair and making clothing for other girls.

Carlos is less jumpy and tells her more about Cruella sometimes. She would only let Carlos eat after he had done her makeup and she once sold his books to afford a pair of fake fur gloves.

He is expanding his comfort zone, reaching out to animal shelters for volunteer work and he's one of the best students at Auradon Prep. She's so proud of him. Of all of them.

Their kisses last more than a second now and the one time Jane licked his bottom lip, Carlos didn't run (even if he looked like he wanted to). More than three months in and they haven't had a single make out session. It's not like Jane is dying for one, but she would like to experience it before she turns one hundred (because, at this rate, she won't). They still take things at Carlos' pace and it's slow, but this isn't a race.

She blushes when he kisses her cheek and still gets that crazy tingle under her skin when she's even by his room. They have study dates and picnics and play with Dude at the park together.

Jane can say she loves him because she does. She hasn't said it though. Neither has Carlos. She doesn't know how he feels, but she thinks he feels the same.

Things are good. They're really good.

Up until they're not.

* * *

A Wednesday night comes along and Jane is invited to a movie night in Carlos' room with the rest of his friends. She likes that they're all branching out to other students, but secretly loves that she's the only outsider at times like these. She feels accepted and special when she is chosen to hang out with the group that has a bond unlike anything Auradon has ever seen.

The only reason they're allowed out so late on a weekday is to celebrate the end of finals that everyone has been slaving over for nearly a month. Jane is exhausted from all of her studies and Carlos was practically asleep at lunch today. He has dark circles that no level of makeup can hide and crazy hair that is terribly cute, but he's smiling and relaxed to be done with his exams.

On top of the end of finals, this is also the latest she's been out with Carlos before and Jane feels as if she is doing something excitingly naughty. If her nerves were crazy just from being outside Carlos' room, they are on fire while she actually sits inside of it. Her mother knows where she is and there are three other people in the room, but she is right beside Carlos, head on his shoulder and legs against his. He had stiffened at the affection originally, but slowly relaxed and even put an arm around her loosely.

The movie is a comedy that makes her smile, but not outright laugh. She's half watching it, half asleep, lulled into rest by Carlos' steady breathing beside her. Normally, with the late time and as comfortable as she is, Jane would be sleeping as well. But the tingle under her skin hasn't stopped since she got in range of the boys' room. More than an hour later, she still feels little electric pulses up her spine and neck. It's no longer a sign of excitement, the tingle feels like the air is off. There is something she can sense but not see or hear.

So lost in her thoughts and unease, it takes a while to register the noises next to her but a quick jerk of the shoulder that is her pillow has Jane shuffling up and gazing around.

Jay is passed out on his own bed with Mal sprawled against his legs and Evie leaning against her. Jane is less envious now of how close they all are, but she wonders if will ever stop feeling like an intruder, even when she has Carlos right beside her, twitching and whining.

She hasn't asked about his nightmares since the day under the bleachers and Carlos never brought it up, but Jane can see the bad dream in his flinching and whimpers.

"Carlos," she murmurs, shaking the shoulder that is still warm from her head laying on it. "Carlos."

He stiffens in his sleep, furrows up his brows and winces away from her. He groans before crying out, thrashing around. Jane shakes him harder, both hands on his shoulders. "Carlos!"

With a choking gasp, his eyes shoot open. Before Jane can ask if he's alright, what's wrong, does he want to talk about it, Carlos lunges forward, grabbing her arm and sinking his teeth into the skin just above her elbow.

Jane screeches, tries to jerk her arm away, but Carlos has latched on like a piranha, snarling wildly and blood already trickling down his chin. She draws her free arm back and slaps him. Hard. Carlos is knocked away with the force, growling. Jane, nearly sobbing from the pain of her arm, can hardly see his pupils with how small they are. His eyes are not kind and soft like usual, they are fierce and unhinged, like a wild dog caught in a trap.

She has no time to scream (and use a few swears in it) before Carlos is shifting back, drawing his feet up and kicking her in the chest. Jane flies across the room, wind fully knocked out by the kick, lands on her back and hits her head against the wall. She can't yell without air in her lungs, but she doesn't need to. When her eyes focus after a moment, she can see Evie tackling Carlos to the ground in a very un-ladylike manner, pinning him by surprise. Mal is beside her in a second, helping keep Carlos' hands to the ground as he bucks, attempting to dislodge Evie.

Neither girl is shouting, they're not shocked or confused. They work quickly and diligently, understanding each other without words.

Jay shuffles over beside them, sighs heavily, like he's sitting down to do homework or take notes. Mal and Evie move back at the same time and as soon as they're off, Carlos is jumping up, but Jay catches him immediately, grabbing his hands. He forces Carlos' arms across his chest, as if the flailing boy were giving himself one of the hugs he loved to give Jane, and Jay sits directly behind him, Carlos' back pressed against his chest. Carlos bucks and shouts, snarling and baring his teeth, but the older boy has him tightly bound and even when – thwack – Carlos headbutts him, Jay doesn't let go to pinch his bloodied nose.

It's another moment before Jane catches her breath and sobs. She is clutching her bleeding arm, the spot where her boyfriend tore off her flesh with his mouth. Mal rushes over to her, pulling off her top to wrap it around the wound and Jane is so petrified, she doesn't move. Evie turns to the bathroom and comes back with a first aid kit.

The blue-haired princess kneels beside the other girls. "Mal," she whispers in the calmest tone Jane has ever heard. "You need to console her. She's about to start hyperventilating."

"Comfort isn't really my thing."

"Unless you want to trade places and bandage her up, make it your thing." Evie has never sounded so harsh, even with how calm and slowly she speaks.

Mal half groans before putting an arm around Jane's shoulders. "Heeeey, you're okay."

How can she say that? Blood is dripping down Jane's arm and her head is pounding. There will be a bruise in the middle of her chest where Carlos kicked her to the other side of the room.

Speaking of Carlos, he is sobbing in Jay's arms, still twisting and squirming. Jay, with blood smeared across his mouth and sleeve from when he wiped at his face with his shoulder, is leaning forward, still holding Carlos' hands, whispering something in his ear.

"Don't," he howls as he weakly bucks. "Don't s-s-sell me, p-please. Not ag-gain."

Evie makes a distraught noise that is practically silence compared to Carlos' shouting. "Let me…let me see your arm."

Jane holds it out and can't stop shaking or crying. Mal gingerly removes her shirt from the bite and Evie uses some spray that stings before holding gauze on top.

"It's alright, Jane," Mal murmurs, squeezing her good arm. "Shhh. Everything is okay."

She can only shake her head in disagreement.

"I can't believe we fell asleep," Evie murmurs, applying a second sheet of gauze when Jane bleeds through the first. "We shouldn't have let this happen."

What even was this?

"No one here is selling you, C. We're not gonna hurt you," Jay's voice cuts across Mal's awkward shushing. "Squeeze my hand if you hear me. It's all going to be okay."

Evie has said it and Mal has said it and Jay has said it but everything is clearly not fucking okay.

Jane hiccups, runs a hand over her tender chest.

"C, I need you to squeeze my hand, so I know you're here with us, okay?"

Nothing of that makes any sense. Carlos is here, sobbing and breathing as if every inhale is a fight, with Jay right behind, cradling him close.

Something sticks to her skin and Jane looks down to see Evie wrapping medical tape around the bandage. She works easily and skillfully. Jane wonders how many people Evie has patched up, how many times Evie has patched herself up.

"It's not too deep. You shouldn't need stitches." Evie glances up and gently wipes at Jane's wet face. "I'm… I'm so sorry. He didn't mean to, Jane." At long last, Evie's own eyes begin to water. "He really didn't mean to."

There's nothing Jane can say to any of that. She can't form the million questions in her head, only nod as if she understands the worst night of her life.

"Come on, Carlos. You're in Auradon, remember? It's different here. We're not letting anyone get you. Squeeze my hand, dude. We need to know you're here. Squeeze my hand."

He is sobbing and coughing uncontrollably. But from across the room, still laying where Carlos kicked her to, Jane can see his hand tighten around Jay's and squeeze.

* * *

Mal and Evie drag her into their room, make her sit on Mal's bed. They had tried to get her to stop crying, but Jane couldn't. She was terrified and nearly sick in the boys' room. Mal quickly grabbed her spell book out of her bag, mumbling "I cannot take this act of defiance, turn her disobedience into silence." Jane continued to sob without sound and Evie guided her to the door, past Carlos and Jay, still sitting on the carpet. Carlos was shaking and hiccupping in Jay's arms while the older boy held him and rubbed his arms, whispering in his ear.

Now, placed in between the girls, Evie hugs her tight and Jane pushes away. It's easier to control herself when Carlos is away from her; she doesn't have to worry about him breaking out of Jay's hold and lunging for her again, going for her throat instead of her arm. She asks the first of an endless stream of questions, but her voice is still gone.

"Jane," Mal grabs her shoulders and looks into her eyes. "I can take back the spell, but you have to stay quiet, okay? You can't draw attention to this room or us, got it? No more hysteria."

She weakly nods her agreement, wiping at her face and flinching when her arm stings. Mal waves a hand over Jane's face, restoring her voice.

"What the hell was that?" She hisses.

Mal sighs, like she rightfully assumed what Jane's first question would be. "Carlos has bad nightmares from his life on the Isle. Really terrible ones."

Jane scoffs. That was no bad dream like Carlos has explained it, that was a complete night terror. "He attacked me!"

"He didn't know who you were," Evie protests, holding Jane's hand. "He never does when he first wakes up. He attacks anyone." She looks at Mal, who just nods.

"Why?" Her voice sounds so horribly broken.

The other girls share another look and Jane is so sick of those. She is sick of the secrets and hidden messages and feeling like a child, everyone deciding what she can and cannot know.

"He attacked me," she seethes. "I deserve to know." They're silent. "Tell me!"

"She's right," Evie whispers and looks at Mal. "She deserves to know."

"Carlos has attacked all of us before," Mal argues, hands on her hips. "That doesn't -."

"But we all know. We always knew, even before we were around for the nightmares."

Mal huffs, glares at Evie and then glares at Jane. "You really wanna know it all?" Jane nods. "Fine."

* * *

Evie checks her head again and determines that the hit against the wall was unlikely to cause a concussion, but Jane should stay awake just in case.

It works out fine because she spends the whole night crying into Mal's pillow.

Jane wasn't ready to hear any of it.

* * *

They go three full days without seeing each other and Jane doesn't know if she is avoiding him or if he is avoiding her or if they are bother avoiding each other without letting the other know.

Students will be moving out soon, some of them already have. Jane is grateful and terrified for that. None of her friends are around to ask why she winces when she inhales too deeply or why her arm is bandaged. Yet, none of them are there to be her distraction and Jane is left to remember that night over and over again. Every day is quiet without her classmates and she occupies her time by rethinking everything Mal and Evie told her and hating herself for not seeing it earlier.

There's a note on her door that morning, asking her to meet for lunch in their usual spot. She recognizes Carlos' neat scrawl immediately. The note begins with if it's okay with you and Jane fights down the nausea in her throat. She hates that phrase, absolutely detests that Carlos was taught (was forced) to put the pleasure and desire of someone else before his own. She hates that he's in Auradon and still following his rules from the Isle and she hates that she once thought it was sweet and endearing instead of realizing how disgusting and wrong it really is.

He didn't sign the note, he didn't need to, but it ends with something along the lines of if you never want to see me again, I understand.

With the end of the year, Jane hadn't considered whether or not she wanted to see Carlos again. She had figured she wouldn't have the option until the next school year.

At 11:47, Jane stands with a paper bag of two sandwiches, water bottles and peaches. She had kind of done it without thinking, packing a lunch for Carlos as well. It feels wrong now.

He's already at their meeting spot, torn between watching her and pretending he doesn't see her yet.

It's broad daylight on a very safe campus, but there's no one around and Jane can't help her shaking. The bite on her arm still pulses when she moves too much and she's bled through two bandages. Her chest is dark purple and it hurts to wear constrictive tops.

This is Carlos. He looks the same as usual, white tips in his black hair, freckles decorating his skin and signature colors. He looks like her Carlos, but he's not. Not anymore. Maybe he never was.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Hi."

She's not the only one shaking, Jane notices. Carlos' shoulders tremble and his knees bounce continuously. It's reassuring to know they're both a terrible ball of nerves right now.

"I-I'm… I-I-I," Carlos bites his lip and swallows. "Thanks for meeting me today."

It's so formal it hurts. Jane sets their lunches on the table and they both ignore the bag.

He takes a deep breath. Jane knows if she would do that, her eyes would water with the pain. "I'm so sorry for what happened, Jane. I hurt you and I scared you and I'm so sorry."

"Mal and Evie told me about…everything. I mean, not everything, but I…understand now." And she does. Kind of. She understands why he cared so much about asking her permission and why he didn't like surprise kisses and why he freaked when he woke up to someone touching him and why he begged and begged and begged not to be sold.

Evie's eyes had watered so badly that she sat down and hid her face, crying into her hands. Mal had grit her teeth, looking at the ceiling as she explained Cruella's greed, the men she let into her house – into her child's bedroom – and the flashbacks Carlos had. How Jay held him every night so that he wouldn't run off campus or hurt himself in his panic. How Mal had placed a silencing charm around the room so no one would hear his screams (Jane had whimpered at the realization that the tingle she felt around his room wasn't a sign of how much she liked Carlos, like she assumed. She had been picking up on one of his many secrets). The told her - showed her - how Evie had taken the same pain Jane had, nearly every night on the Isle, and so much worse, with scars of claw marks and bite marks on her own arms.

"I know. They, uh, told me they did," Carlos' voice waivers and breaks at the end. His nails are digging into his wrists, cutting into his skin. Jane reaches instinctively, peeling his hands apart and preventing the blood before he sheds it. Carlos risks a look at her. "Thank you."

Jane just nods. She doesn't want to speak, but she whispers "you're welcome" because it's the Auradon thing to say.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am. I never expected to fall asleep with you next to me. I was going to walk you back to your r-room. But I was so t-tired from exams. I just closed my eyes and then I had this memory of-of- well, I guess you know. I…I can't tell you how sorry I am."

She knows that it's the truth. She could sit here for hours and days and Carlos would never have enough time to share his guilt and grief. The proper Auradon response is 'it's okay. I forgive you', but that's too much. It would be a lie. It's not okay, no matter what Evie and Mal and Jay say. And Jane doesn't forgive him. She knows he was terrified and hurt and panicked, but he bit her. Drew blood and hurt her. Kept secrets all these months.

Jane doesn't blame him and she's not mad, but she's afraid. Carlos is her height and weight and size and he terrifies her. What he's capable of and his strength are horrifying. He has scarred her, mentally and maybe physically (only time will tell how well the bite heals). While it's not his fault, Jane can't look into his eyes and forgive him. She can't.

"I know."

He pulls in another shaky breath and trembles harder. "I want you to know that… I liked – I still like – you so much. You were always sweet and gentle and quiet and so kind." She reads between his words. Jane is the opposite of his nightmares, of the men who held him down. "I think…I think I could have or I e-even might have…loved you."

The first time a boy says he loves her and he's crying and she's crying and that's not the way it's suppose to happen. Jane is upset all over again, as if this is another thing Carlos has hurt her with.

"You were the best girlfriend I'll ever have."

And she knows that's true because she can feel it in the bite and the bruise. She has no one to compete with: Jane is the only girlfriend Carlos de Vil will ever have.

It's a sickening thought, looking at him and seeing a boy who is too damaged to have a healthy relationship. This isn't the Isle of the Lost with villains and pain, it's Auradon, the place of Happily Ever Afters with heroes and joy. Everyone gets a happily ever after, she and her classmates are the very products of those Happily Ever Afters. Carlos should get one too.

But he doesn't. He won't. Between a mix of his own nightmares and scars and the way he won't talk about it all, Carlos is a tragedy. A tragedy that she kissed and held and was loved by.

It would be polite to say the same thing back, but Jane doesn't because she can't. He had been a great boyfriend, sweet and adoring and considerate and she really thinks she might have loved him.

Then he attacked her and tore a chunk of her skin out.

So she settles for a "thank you."

* * *

The summer comes and goes quicker than she remembers. Some nights are sleepless and some nights are nightmares of Carlos charging her, but the summer is pretty good.

She hasn't spoken to Carlos since their last picnic and that's okay. Preferable, if Jane is honest. Her fear and anger have simmered into bad memories.

Once school starts back up, it's as if Carlos is everywhere and she can't avoid him this time around. Jay is almost always with him, just a little bit more overbearing than he was last year. He practically walks Carlos to and from every class, an arm around his shoulders and keeping close. They're not totally open and making it known, but she catches the brief kisses on temples and full hugs.

It takes another week before she notices it from the girls too. How Carlos and Evie hold hands in the halls or Mal's lipstick on his cheek, the way she pulls him near when there are too many people.

That hurts in a way Jane doesn't understand.

But it all makes sense, even if she doesn't question them (which, she really can't anymore, even if she wanted to). The bond between the four of them, a connection that no one can comprehend. Their relationship is forged in pain and the safety of each other, of healing one another and fighting someone else's monsters because they can't fight their own. It's Mal providing guidance, Evie bandaging scars, Jay battling nightmares and Carlos being strong enough to keep them all together.

The only way to understand an Islander is to be one yourself.

In a way, Jane is relieved for Carlos. Maybe there's no Happy Ending for him, where he is safe and comfortable and free of the nights that haunt him. But that doesn't mean his ending will be unhappy either.

He has friends, and apparently something more, who have seen the worst in him, experienced his fear and violence, and still stand by him. Still hold his hand and kiss him and want to protect him.

(And, wow, does Jane feel like a failure at that thought.)

He'll have an Okay Ending, Jane predicts. One with evenings of locking himself in his room and nights of terror, but mornings of people who will hold him after it all and days of hugs and hair ruffles.

It's gut-wrenching and wonderful to know that even if she can't love him, Carlos has people who do. Maybe they're a little messed up like he is, but maybe that's exactly what he needs.

Jane knows they can love him better than she can.


End file.
